It’s been a roller coaster past week. A week ago today I was running high having spent the day passing my yoga exam and then out with my fellow yogis celebrating our year of yoga. I soon came crashing down when my handbag was stolen whilst I was still supping my first glass.
Watching the thief on the CCTV; how he entered the bar, checked me out, returned 10 minutes later with a jacket over his shoulder then went down to the bar below and spent at least 5 minutes inching my bag through the bars was sickening. Now I know the true meaning of victim. To cut a long story short I caught him the next day when I went back for my yoga final interview and had my son Ollie with me. He was hanging around the tube station, I flagged down a cop car and they arrested him. Well actually they arrested the wrong man until I started screaming in the street at the thief standing next to the poor black guy in handcuffs. It wasn’t pretty and the cops called me feisty as Ollie tried to pull me away but I was possibly the angriest I’ve ever been in my life. (I had spotted him checking me out in the bar even before I saw him on the CCTV so I knew who I was looking for). I won’t get any of my stuff back and it was a rush to get a new travel card to leave the country that night but I made it. It was only stuff, my wallet, cash and cards, my iphone, a pashmina, oyster card, make-up, my house and car keys but it was my stuff and he had no right to steal from me. The evening was ruined and the yoga girls had to put me in a cab and send me home.
Then things starting hitting me one after another and I’ve had enough now. Stop. Okay? I can’t sleep, I feel sad and I don’t need any more incidences or people letting me down. Maybe I have post traumatic syndrome. I have to change the locks on the London flat. When things go wrong I tend to bounce back quickly, brush myself off and carry on but this time I’m stuck, unable to pull myself out. Small things make me want to cry.
Am I. Tomorrow is my yoga assessment exam. I will teach half a yoga class(45 mins) to my fellow TTs and this will be assessed by someone I have never met but is obviously more qualified than I. I will then do 2 & 1/2 yoga classes back to back that is: 5 x 45 mins. A lot. (The half is my teaching as the Vinyasa Flow philosophy is the teacher is never doing yoga she is busy assisting her students) . I have packed lots of energy drinks and nuts. Then I go with my fellow TTs to a Tapas bar to celebrate and most likely fall over after one glass of wine. I will get home, wake up the next morning, pack a few suitcases, head back out to see my teacher for my final interview results then head out to the airport and my summer begins! I make is a policy never to use explanation marks in this blog but this occasion calls for one.
I’ve had a great week. One of the highlights being a day at Henley with 8 mates in a hospitality tent as one of several birthday parties I am planning this summer. The Pimms flowed, the Thames flowed, the conversation flowed and the sun shone. It was a fitting end to a great year of yoga and London living but now I want my garden in Switzerland, my kids and my kitchen. I have a new cook book Sky Gyngell’s How I Cook ,to play with which will cheer up Lexi no end as she says I only open packets in London (that’s not quite true I also put them in the microwave). I intend to ignore my yoga mat for a while and to go back to running in the woods. I will fill the house with flowers and friends and young people who will trail clothes, books and piles of wet towels around the house, bomb dive in the pool, eat at odd times and mostly late at night and tell me stories that make me laugh hysterically. Ollie’s gang of four are nicknamed “the puppies” as they are naughty, sweet and not at all house trained.
I want my tribe around me.
I’ve changed. It was a difficult three weeks as you all know, I was the wailing child, moaning and groaning because I wasn’t allowed a sweetie…I needed a smack and an early night. I’m not into sweeties so much now. Don’t get me wrong I still like a glass of wine but I don’t have that mouth drying absolute need for a glass of wine any more. At the wedding last weekend (which was fabulous but no I will not be posting any photos as some things, even to warts-and-all-life-under-the-microscope-me, are sacred). I enjoyed the champagne and the wine but didn’t throw it back wantonly. Enjoyed and moved on. Detox allows you to either get rid of or to re-think things in your life that no longer serve.
I wasn’t just detoxing wine and chocolate I was also detoxing on an emotional level. I have also been looking at friendships. One of the side effects (or possibly advantages depending how you see it) of moving country is that you never hear from some people again. And over time you realise that some friendships are just due to circumstance i.e., you happen to both have children the same ages who like each other or you live in the same town and then when those mitigating circumstances are removed then the friendship disappears. I think that society puts a lot of pressure on us to have many friends and we believe, wrongly that having lots of friends is a measure of success. Initially I saw this loss of contact as a failure and I was a wee bit narked but as time moved on and I didn’t think that much about them either,I realised that in fact the friendship had run its course. I did run after one friend who had dropped me from the radar – or so I perceived – because she was someone I thought about and thought about telling her things and when we got back to together it turned out that she had had a horrendous six months full of stress and life changing decisions. Some friendships are worth fighting for and staying for the long run but others should be let go with love…well if not love then a thank you for the good times and please return that trifle bowl you owe me.
I just skyped the friend I nearly gave up on and I found her in a hotel room in North Carolina sweaty, from a morning jog (I love skype) and I asked her a question that has been nagging me and she told me the answer. We may not see our very closest friends every day but they are there for us when we need them and worth keeping around otherwise move on, cherish quality time with quality people, life is too short.
Ollie heir to throne, Michael, Josh and James
I promised the man at Gaucho’s that I would mention him in my blog again as he kindly provided a free meal following my food poisoning episode last winter. For reasons I am sure you can imagine,I did not feel quite ready to return so we sent Ollie and his rugby mates for a slap up meal before they went to see the Barbarian’s play England Sunday. See photo. It’s a great, fun, place with excellent food and accidents happen even in the best of places.
Monday saw us in Oxford watching Lola’s son James in Out of the Blue. They are live in the semi-finals of Britain’s Got Talent tomorrow night (Thursday) so please tune in and vote.
Celebrity watching: Princess Margaret’s daughter choosing yoghurt in Waitrose. Something quite sad about her, nothing of her mother’s looks or charm (that over-large jug jaw which Prince Andrew has and so does his girls) but somehow in the turn of her head she is her mother’s daughter. She chose Greek Yoghurt. Trinny Woodall speed walking with hand weights in Hyde Park. She looked thin and sexy. Sorry ladies.
Lexi is on field trip this week so I am concentrating on getting my sleep. Did you know that we are all on average 17 hours sleep deprived? It’s amazing how well I feel on 9 hours sleep a night, it’s another world! Ventured out to The River Café in Hammersmith for lunch today to try out as a possible venue for my 50th. It was great and I can see where Jamie Oliver got his inspiration from (he was trained there and only got started in TV as the chef the TV production company had gone to film was off sick… and the rest is history). The search continues. Kristin Scott Thomas in The Betrayal tonight. Not bad for a Wednesday.
I’ve been in a drunken whirl (only joking). Actually I’ve been on a yoga intensive weekend. Only two more to go and so there is masses of homework. I’m beginning to panic like the 10 year old me. I have to finish my essay which needs another 4-5 hours stint and you try finding that amount of uninterrupted peace in my life. I also have to organise my yoga folder to give in to the teacher which everyone else has been doing since the start – old and deaf? I’m beginning to realise that I am not a good listener. This is something I have never been good at and it is only getting worse. Then there is the added stress of the final weekend assessment in July when I will have to lead the class and show not only the ability to know my right from my left foot and breathe in and out five times in a row with the group, but the Sanskrit name of each pose plus knowledge of yoga philosophy, chakras, mudras, nadis etc. and give hands on assists.
I’m freaking out just a bit.
And just to add a little pressure I have my sister’s 3 day wedding to participate in, preparation for Lexi’s field trip next week, Sophie-G home this week and a lame pony (don’t ask). I still haven’t found the right sister of the bride dress.
I just want to enjoy the wedding and not have everything else raining on my parade.
I would love a day under the duvet with a trashy novel.
