Pretentious Bull****

Posted by Jules on January 10th, 2010

bullshit

Well let’s start the new year blog posting with a bang.  I had a little look at some of the other bloggers in my sphere for inspiration and god are they boring.  One wrote a posting about changing her name to Zelda (after Zelda Fitzgerald  no less)  a requirement of being put back into a will or something – as if it were a daily occurence to the likes of you and me darling – and another let her daughter write and by that I mean actually get hold of the keyboard and type - spelling mistakes and all.  Now you, dear reader, get the odd posting from my daughter Alexia-Rose but YOU ALL KNOW THAT IT IS REALLY ME taking the piss out of myself and my family.  Postings from authentic nine year olds are NOT interesting, the syntax is crap and the spelling not even cute. Please take note all bloggers who feel the urge to exploit the under tens.  Much better to write à la Sue Townsend in the mind of Adrien Mole.  Now that’s funny.  Thine own therapist, bring it on.

I may be high on oxygen just having returned from the mountains or Lexi’s headlice shampoo – yes again – but I pledge not to write any pretentious bull this year and if I do you can complain.  In fact I should put a bullshite-o-meter icon on the front page for you to buzz me with.  If anything I hope you see me as an honest warts-and-all writer providing a glimpse into a normal female’s life (one without pretentious claims to the name Zelda) trying to be more than a mother and sometimes dutiful, although to be quite honest not always, wifelet to Mr. J.

Life is hard, life is beautiful and I won’t try to tell it any other way.

PS Thoughts in my head these days:  Why are there so many unhappy women in their fifties?  It’s healthy in fact its essential, to have a really big argument with your partner once a year, preferably between Xmas and New Year;  Is physical pain coming from our conscious mind i.e., my lower back problems and Mr. J’s neck injury? see www.martinbrofman.ch.  Why did I eat so much and sabotage the two kilos lost from flu just before Xmas? Should I invent the headlice pillow a potentially lethal murder weapon but huge money spinner?

My Swiss Family, My Writing Life 11 Comments

Kate said,

January 10, 2010 @ 10:08 pm

Hi Jules,
I love your Blog! It is REAL! I came to yours via Suzy Greaves. I went to …… via yours! I agree and am amused and relieved you have removed your link! (I too can’t stand the daughter’s blogs and feel the writer is in a totally different sphere). However your posts always make me feel I am reading that of a good friend. I nearly made you a friend on FB! (loved that post!) I totally relate to the thoughts in your head so am really looking forward to the rest of this year’s no holds barred posts! Hurrah! No more pretentious twaddlle.
love Kate

Marina Marangos said,

January 11, 2010 @ 2:59 am

Happy New Years Jules, keep it up always a pleasure to read and all the best for the new decade. Love MM

jules said,

January 11, 2010 @ 9:41 am

Hello Kate and thanks so much for the appreciation. I did feel a tad mean this morning when I re-read last night’s posting – chacun son mauvais gout and all that – especially as I had recently written a posting on tolerance but hey I’m human and I’m not called Zelda.
Happy New Year to you too Marina how is India? Snow in the village here and about minus 3 below grey skies.

Kate said,

January 11, 2010 @ 4:35 pm

Hi Jules

I also felt very mean this morning.
Apologies all.

Kate

Unexpected Traveller said,

January 12, 2010 @ 8:11 am

Tsk Tsk! Who are you calling boring?

I take offence at that but will still sneakily peek at your blog and keep up with the Swiss way of life. Eventually I will forgive you but only if your posts become a little more regular.

Happy New Year Jules – thanks for keeping us entertained.

The Unexpected Traveller

Elna said,

January 12, 2010 @ 11:28 pm

Ahhh– you need Graham to keep you honest. Just think what he might say about your blog.

Martin said,

January 13, 2010 @ 4:17 am

Snow in the village? Trust me to emigrate just ahead of all the fun weather. For those requiring amusement, and no it’s not India, Monday afternoon was 45.4C, still 30C at midnight, 28C at 8 on Tuesday morning and then down to 18C Tuesday evening.

Meanwhile, HNY Jules. Great article – especially when I’d managed to interpret “sometimes dutiful, although to be quite honest not always” as something else. What was that? Honesty or Fidelity I wondered whilst smiling and thinking of cold, cold snow. Well actually anything cold when it’s 45C+ in the shade ….

Jules said,

January 13, 2010 @ 8:58 am

Unexpected Traveller – I was referring to the the expat mummy blogs rather than your witty, erudite, entertaining travelogue.
Elna – I actually wrote this with Graham in mind, I think he would love it always ready for a bit of fisticuffs!
Martin – Not that. Too much respect for him to do that. Just mean can be royal pain in the arse when I want to be. Marriage has many shades and after so many years you get to live in the sun (most of the time) and the chilly shade with the bits of mildew and creepy crawlies. That weather metaphor leads on nicely to tell you the Lequint Junior cannot keep up with his snowplough! Huge amount fell in the night and still falling. I love it! Will post photos later. 45! Watch out for skin cancer.

Jules said,

January 13, 2010 @ 8:59 am

PS What does HNY stand for? You’re too old to be using SMS abbreviations, or so my kids tell me.

Unexpected Traveller said,

January 13, 2010 @ 9:04 am

Ah – all is forgiven then.

The Unexpected Traveller

PS: HNY could be “Happy New Year”?

Martin said,

January 14, 2010 @ 1:13 am

Too old? Never! ROFL.

… and my kids (20 and 19 disagree with your kids !)

… and HNY does indeed mean Happy New Year

… Marriage does indeed have many shades – says he as we head for 27 years. My Oz friends tell me I could have committed murder and been out by now …

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