Oh Crumbs…

Pretty Boy Tyler Brûlé in Biscuit lust mode

I know that some of you readers may think that I lead quite a glamorous life, swanning here and there, attending writing courses in Oxfordshire and generally having far too good of a time and so it is with much trepidation that I tell you THE NEWS!!! 

I have been invited to right a blog about biscuits.  I know, I know, some of you are thinking how unfair it is that I get all the best offers whilst you slave away all day doing whatever it is you do.  Even Tyler Brulé in his sharp suits flying over the atlantic on Netjets to give a one hour speach for a fee that would keep a small African country alive for a year must be seething with envy and longing to get his teeth stuck into a blog about biscuits.

I don’t particularly like Tyler Brûlé, Editor in Cheif of Monocle the Magazine,  as he rather underwhelms me but I have a girlfriend who is infatuated with him (yes I know about THAT but I’m not going to be the one to tell her that she is most unlikely to produce baby Crème unless the wind changes direction so to speak).  He happens to write a column The Fast Lane at the back of the weekend FT which is the only paper worth buying – or that weekend’s Telegraph if I happen to be in it – so I glance at it, no doubt issuing the same words that he is at this very moment on hearing of my biscuit blog… Why not me?

Here is the start of his latest missive:

“You can tell it’s almost the last quarter of the year by the sudden surge in requests for Biscuit blogs (conferences, summits, fairs and expos) that stare out from the diary and demand some sort of attention…It’s quite easy to get caught up in the excitement of speaking at a symposium on biscuits (urbanism) in the Netherlands when there’s a handsome fee attached and the promise that I can be back in London by dinner-time…” 

And on and on he drawls infinitum underwhelming us with his overwhelming manner but no doubt longingly looking down from his heady heights on us real people writing about biscuits.

I think I will write about tea instead of biscuits having been deprived of them as a child.  We did have a biscuit tin at home but it was only filled on high days and holidays by health concious Madre.  It was in the cupboard next to the tiny vial of olive oil that was warmed and dispensed for ear ache.

Please leave any thoughts on biscuits below.