Jules’ Best Joke of 2008

Posted by Jules on December 11th, 2008

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Man calls home.

“Your cat is dead,”  says his brother.

“Well that’s a fine way to tell someone a terrible piece of news.”

“How else should I have said it?” Asks the brother.

“Well, I don’t know you could start by gently preparing me for bad news, say, the cat is stuck on the roof.  Then in the next phone call you could say it doesn’t look good and that you’ve called the fire brigade.  That way I would be prepared for the worst.”

“Oh okay.”

“So, how’s Mum?”

“Well…..she’s on the roof right now.”

 

 

Uncategorized 7 Comments

Guy Aron said,

December 12, 2008 @ 12:55 am

An old ‘un but a good ‘un! I liked this joke I heard years ago when studying Russian (you might relate to this as an English speaker who has had to learn a gendered language):

An Armenian/Ukrainian/Georgian/Kazakh (take your pick) was at a Russian air show. He was speaking very rough Russian, at which a native Russian speaker was becoming more and more irritated.
Armenian (etc.) “Look at that lovely aircraft over there!”
Russian lady “You oaf! Don’t you know that ‘aircraft’ is feminine?”
Armenian (following the aircraft with his binoculars) “The lady has very keen eyesight”.

Seemed funny at the time; perhaps more so when delivered with cod Russian accents.

To use a politically incorrect phrase – merry Christmas!

Guy

Jules said,

December 12, 2008 @ 7:29 am

Welcome to the site Guy and thanks. I’ve been here years and I still get muddled with my genders especially when they happen to be homonyms as well i.e., I’ve been putting the chicken in the folder (oven)for years and telling people to have liver (faith). I fear one day I too will be screamed at by a Russian lady but now at least I have a quick riposte!

Happy Holydays.

Martin said,

December 12, 2008 @ 10:16 am

(Yes – I made it back from Mumbai)

By the way….after a lengthy study, a South American scientist has discovered that people with a low IQ who don’t have enough sex always read their emails whilst holding the mouse.

(Don’t bother taking your hand off now, it’s too late.)

Martin said,

December 12, 2008 @ 10:19 am

I took a short cut through the churchyard yesterday. A man coming the other way said, “Morning.” I said “No, I’m just taking a short cut.”

Shakespeare goes into a Pub & the landlord says ‘I thought I told you before – get out you’re bard!’

A deer is trying to cross a busy road but the traffic is very heavy. After he’s tried unsuccessfully to cross for 5 minutes, a bear walks past and says “Excuse me, there’s a zebra crossing a bit further along the road”. The deer replies “I hope he’s having better luck than I am”.

Bolton bap said,

December 12, 2008 @ 10:21 am

My holiday offering; (sounds better with a Scottish accent as it was a Scottish friend who told it to me)

What’s the name of India’s latest karaoke star?

Gerupta Singh.

Ghinch said,

December 12, 2008 @ 7:13 pm

Oh well, I had to do it didn’t I?

The best jokes of the year are…

Penguin goes in to a bar. “Have you seen my brother?” he asks the barman. “I don’t know” says the barman “What does he look like?”

and…..

Man walks in to a dentist’s office.
“I keep thinking I’m a moth.” he says.
“You need a psychiatrist, not a dentist.” says the dentist.
“I would have gone there, but your light was on.” says the man.

http://www.ghinch.com

Jules said,

December 14, 2008 @ 11:24 am

I like this one G. I told it to my kids and they just looked at me all askance whilst I giggled manically at 7am. It must be a British thing.

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