Flashing the locals

Posted by Jules Ritter on August 2nd, 2008

It is 7.20am Saturday morning, the day after Swiss National Day and the only day this week that I am able to lie in.  I am leaning out of my bedroom window wearing a Victoria Secret’s nightdress (black silk) shouting. 

Flashback to 7.19am (I’ve been watching Lost thought it might work certainly spiced up their series 3):  I am awoken by a crash, then another, then another.  I look at my bedside clock, leap out of bed and fling open the window.

“C’est sept heures vingt!” I shout.  (“It’s 7.20!)

The crashing from the large blue bottle bank parked on the piece of communal land adjacent to our house (remind me not to mention it if ever we come to sell the house) is silenced.

“Hey!”  I shout for want of knowing the equivalent in French.

I wait for the culprit to emerge.  A small, white haired man holding a basket appears around the side of the bin looking very dapper for a Saturday morning.  He looks up at my window.

“Je pars en voyage,” he says by way of apology.  (“I’m leaving on a trip.”)

Now that is taking recycling too far.

Copyright Julesritter August 2008

 

 

Living in Switzerland 8 Comments

Graham said,

August 3, 2008 @ 8:34 am

I realize that this will probably make you shriek and bury your face in your pinny. But, you’ve let me down. Yes, I feel seriously let down.

A $24.95 Victoria’s Secret black silk(ette) nightie indeed.

I’ve always thought of you as a woman of style and discernment and I know the name Victoria’s Secret cleverly promises a heady blend of innocence and decadence, but it’s not you.

Cobbled together in some Asian sweatshop where, for 18 hours a day, deft saffron digits stitch and sew before shipping the stuff off to Victoria. A sweatshop in which the only moment of joy happens when, in a moment of madness, a small sweating lady puts a tiger print thong panty on her head and runs round the rows of ancient Singer sewing machines. Even though her fellow workers have no idea what a thong is, they fall about laughing until the crackling Tannoy calls them to order.

Please dear Jules. If you are going to take us on a tour through your intimate wardrobe, let us have a little more elegance. I wonder what the little old man at the bottle bank thought?

Martin said,

August 3, 2008 @ 9:34 am

The only thing I can say is ….. It wasn’t me (grin) !

Jules said,

August 3, 2008 @ 10:49 am

It was a present from Mr. Jules….The alternatives are not any better, striped flannel pjs for winter, an M&S old rose coloured shift, a snoopy two-set by H&M. That’s it then you’ll never speak to me again. La Perla is not quite in my budget for nightwear I’m afraid but I could possibly stretch to Agent Provocateur, as long as it was comfy and soft and not itchy and lacy, would that be any good?
Off to Spain, perhaps I will get inspired there.

Jules said,

August 3, 2008 @ 10:51 am

Martin, Last time we met you were neither grey haired or small but a few years at Novartis and perhaps you will become so.

Martin said,

August 3, 2008 @ 11:02 am

Hi Jules,

I believe that SWIMBO prefers the descriptor “silver” to grey for hair – something about not being as bad as grey. As for stature, I’m still 1,83 m and haven’t yet started the long decline to being “vertically challenged” that comes with advancing years. Must be all those “hen fresh” eggs that we keep getting. Talking of which, I am reliably informed that we do not have chickens but we do have hens – apparently a hen is alive and a chicken …..

Adam said,

August 6, 2008 @ 6:54 am

Am I mixing it up a bit here? Hens, chickens, the mad neighbour’s cock? Jules, I came across http://www.womanofexperience.blogspot.com yesterday – where the talk is more about cocks than hens, and shows a picture of the author – the lovely Ms. R. Can we have a bit more straightforward talk about what we are all interested in (well, some of us) instead of small and disappointing titillation from Victoria? And what about a competing picture to put Ms. R to shame?

Adam said,

August 6, 2008 @ 6:56 am

Of course, you could be Mrs. R….married somehow seems a bit more qualified for leading a discussion forum on sex.

Jules said,

August 12, 2008 @ 1:42 pm

Er no thanks Adam, I’ll pass. A girlfriend of mine chastised me for this posting saying she felt some readers were being turned on too much and I laughed but now I see she may have a point. When I wrote about the black, silk Victoria Secrets nightie it was as a comic visual reference. Black silk nightie shouting at bottle bank hardly makes a VS advertisement.
Titillating? Well I’m flattered Adam, really.

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