The New York Effect?

Posted by Jules Ritter on July 14th, 2008

                                                            The short stay apartment we are renting in Upper Mid-town comes with daily maid service  (I’m on holiday!).  I hear a crash from the bathroom and a squawk on the walky talky.  The supervisor arrives and there are two people in our bathroom.  The supervisor comes out and in bad English informs us that a pink bottle has been broken.  We are summoned to survey the damage.  A Puerto Rican member of the cleaning staff is on her hands and knees picking up shards of glass.  Mr. Jules says ”Be Careful.”  Fuck-witted me says “Oh no.  Not my neck serum!”  OH NO NOT MY NECK SERUM.  The poor woman looks mortified and mumbles her apologies.  I tell the supervisor we will make a claim from the company. 

I am blow drying my hair when a wave of shame hits me.  I grab some money and give it to the poor woman who is now hoovering our living room, along with a hug and apologies.  She is so grateful she bursts into tears and it occurs to me that she probably thought it was some crazy priced serum harvested from the uterus of Andes reared mares and she is expecting to have this colossal sum deducted from her minimum wage pay.  I notice her fingers are bleeding so she runs them under cold water and I give her some plasters. 

That night we leave the girls to room service and Mr. Jules and I go for dinner.  I tell him that today was not a good day for me and that I have been haunted by the image of the cleaning woman’s children waiting – in a dark room, always a dark room – for her to come home from cleaning up after rich tourists in the City.

Mr. Jules does not sympathise.  He gives me a look that says three words:  NECK EFFING SERUM?

Copyright Jules Ritter July 2008

Most Popular Posts, Travels 19 Comments

John Norris said,

July 14, 2008 @ 6:24 pm

But what is neck serum? Why would one want to lug it around with one’s luggage on holiday?

Sharyn G said,

July 14, 2008 @ 9:14 pm

Helena ,please make sure you square this with her Supervisor so that she is not later disciplined for this mishap. I know a maid who works in a luxury hotel. They are required to clean X number of rooms each and every day whether it takes six hours or sixteen. Believe me they do not get paid for 16. This is the kind of work I wouldn’t do if they paid me a million bucks. I hate cleaning at home much less doing it for a living. These are hardworking folks who deserve our respect.

Jules said,

July 14, 2008 @ 11:30 pm

Good point John why? But females understand, believe me.
Sharyn. Helena? Wrong site sweetie, Helena is en route for Abu Dhabi the lucky one.

Graham said,

July 15, 2008 @ 7:23 am

Isn’t that what staff are for?

I think your reaction was justified just as much as Janou’s when we were golfing in Thailand last month. After the round she stormed into the pro-shop and complained loudly that her caddy (female, of course, you won’t get men working that hard in Thailand) had scored incorrectly, failed to indicate the putting line and had not cleaned the clubs before putting them back in the bag. She was absolutely right. The fact that the wretched woman had four under tens to feed having lost her husband and house in the Tsunami has nothing to do with it.

More stick and less carrot I say.

Sharyn G said,

July 15, 2008 @ 1:14 pm

Jules,

Jules,

Sorry for the slip up. I was really busy yesterday. Actually, Helena is in Sweden at the moment. As for the rest of you, you have the humanity of an amoeba if you think that treating someone who is “beneath”" you like a cowed dog is OK. “DO unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Accidents happen. The bottle could have been broken in your own hands, Jules. IT’s just stuff!

Sally Philpot said,

July 15, 2008 @ 2:59 pm

Sharyn
An Amoeba! A single celled organism, lacking a fixed form and supporting structure – A Parasite.
I assume that you are not lucky enough to know my sister who is as far removed from your description as anyone could be. I suggest you spend your time trying to find your friend Helena and leave this site alone. S.

Sharyn G said,

July 15, 2008 @ 5:58 pm

My Sally, aren’t we touchy? Your sister can take care of herself. I don’t think there is anything wrong (on a public blog) with commenting on the superficiality of melting down over a bottle of broken neck serum. I don’t care how much it costs. It smacks of being shallow. If Jules would prefer me to not read her blog and respond she is perfectly capable of doing so without your help. It’s kind of the point on a blog, isn’t it? We all do things we regret your sister is just honest enough to put it out there for the world to see. Actually, I was referring to Graham who commented on the performance of a caddy (while playing golf… a GAME). The caddy may not have wiped off his golf clubs but she is supporting a family of ten in one of the poorest countries in Asia. Surely the diplomatically challenged Brits can tell the difference!

Nadia said,

July 15, 2008 @ 8:42 pm

Ah. Sharyn, you didn’t grasp the 2nd degree irony in Graham’s comment, did you? You took that comment at face value and didn’t spend ten minutes giggling over it? You’re a friend of John’s, aren’t you? Or is it that you’re just not British, so just don’t get it?

Okay. But please don’t ever read Private Secret Diary where he shoots chickens and then goes off to play bowls… you might take it seriously.

Oh, and Jules, which neck serum was it? Does it work on chicken necks?

Nadia said,

July 15, 2008 @ 8:43 pm

P.S. What’s wrong with shallow?

Inger said,

July 16, 2008 @ 6:53 am

Glad you are enjoying NY Jules. Brief shallowness probably arose from the culture shock of moving from the cows (four legged variety) of Givrins to the cow girls of NY via American immigration, glad humanity surfaced at the end.
PS Which neck serum is it and does it really work?

Helena Frith Powell said,

July 16, 2008 @ 11:26 am

HELLO! I can’t believe I missed all this. That is what hiding in deepest Sweden does to you. Anyway, I can totally sympathise with your reaction Jules and you did make it up to the poor woman but I mean a neck serum is a neck serum. I am so obsessive I keep anything expensive in my sponge-bag so the children can’t break it or even worse use it. I once found Bea (then aged three) covered in my La Prairie eye cream – that really did hurt….And yes, which neck serum was it?
Hxx

Jules said,

July 16, 2008 @ 1:41 pm

Gatineau. But perhaps I should just let my crepey neck do as it will as a modern day hair-shirt-reminder of what a shallow amoeba/cow (two and four legged) I am…and then I’ll go out and splurge on some lovely Hermès scarves!!!

Nadia said,

July 16, 2008 @ 7:40 pm

If the cream works on, f’rinstance, my chicken neck, then it’s worth a Hermès scarf or two… AND being likened to a single-cell parasitic organism that has sussed out evolution perfectly, or to a large mooing mammal with pretty eyelashes…

Jules said,

July 17, 2008 @ 3:22 am

Large mooing mammals with pretty eyelashes rock on!!
PS Graham is giving up writing with irony as so many people (you not included Nadia) don’t get him. Such a shame as he is masterful but perhaps it is a British thing.

Nadia said,

July 17, 2008 @ 8:19 am

Oh noooo, Graham, please continue! Where would we be without irony??

And yes, it is British, but so what? I’m only 12.5% Brit but proud to be considered diplomatically challenged!

Sharyn G., you have MUCH to answer for!

Inger said,

July 17, 2008 @ 8:46 am

Graham, you must continue, we need British irony, if only to protect us from becoming regimented swiss. PS Julie, were you aware that Givrins has become ‘commune sans ogm’ in your absence? Please don’t tell them about my packet of seed from the UK or they will have to take their sign down!

Graham said,

July 17, 2008 @ 11:23 am

Who said I was British?

I’m not, I’m English and Swiss.

Adam said,

July 17, 2008 @ 12:17 pm

Girls, have you tried chicken fat on your necks? I think it might help. As might the following newspaper article -

Daily Telegraph, 2nd September, 2001

SAN FRANCISCO MAN BECOMES FIRST AMERICAN TO GRASP SIGNIFICANCE OF
IRONY
>
SAN FRANCISCO – The Daily Telegraph spoke to Jay Fullmer, 38, who became the first American to get to grips with the concept of irony
yesterday.

“It was weird,” Fullmer said, “I was in London and, like, talking to
this guy and it was raining and he said, like, great weather, or
something like that.” Said Fullmer: “And I thought – wait a minute,
it’s like, no way is it great weather.”

Fullmer soon realised that the other man’s ‘mistake’ was deliberate.
“This guy was pretty cool about it,” Fullmer said. Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8 and 3, planned to use irony himself in future. “I’m like saying it all the time.” he said.
“Last weekend I was like grilling steaks and I like burned them to
shit and I said ‘great weather’.”

Martin said,

July 17, 2008 @ 2:20 pm

Time for a response from me without getting embroiled in a warming/cooling discussion.

Inger – wouldn’t it be ironic if the commune had misspelt “OGM” and were actually thinking of “text speak” and the sign should have said “OMG” …… or even “OGM – OMG”

Am reminded of a French friend who had lived in the UK for over 25 years. He once described to me his experiences of an appalling French restaurant in London – poor food, poor service, high cost and so on. All I said was “So, you wouldn’t recommend it then?” which then led to a whole discussion of “How do you do that”, “How do you know when to do that” — or am I being ironic ? Ho hum.

It’s stopped raining but will we all get wet at Paleo next week and, most importantly, will it stay dry for that small American rock combo that some people seem to have heard about who play the headline set on Sunday 27 — R.E.M.

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