More Flesh Please! I’m European!

Posted by Jules Ritter on July 20th, 2008

I suppose Chatham, Cape Cod is not known as the décolleté capital of the world but are all Republicans asexual?  In our resort hotel, where the attire of the guests is as conservative as their politics, it is like living amongst the pages of a J. Crew catalogue.  All the women dress as the men do; shorts and polo shirts in khaki, navy blue or white.  Three generational families gather at the clam bake on the beach all in matching colour co-ordinated outfits with their female bits in denial.  Twice I have mistaken guests for hotel staff who are kitted out in khaki shorts and white or light blue polo shirts.  I am the only guest who does not own a pair of shorts.  I am Jezebel in my Erès costume and sarong which would make me practically a nun in San Tropez.  I guiltily hide my see-through faux diamond encrusted Kimono and sparkly flip flops.  The only way to describe the footwear here is practical. 

This asexuality is odd.  If I were in Italy or France there would be plenty of bosoms, shoulders and pert bottoms on show and I miss those pretty women so much I am beginning to doubt my own sexuality.   Cocktail hour amidst a sea of girl scouts just takes the punch out of the alcohol.  

It is time to leave.  I have this theory that three days/four nights is enough anywhere.  We have had a blast.  America has come up trumps once again as a holiday destination for us but I need to be back where it’s fun to be a woman; amongst the girls.

Copyright Jules Ritter July 2008

  

Travels 4 Comments

Graham said,

July 21, 2008 @ 10:46 am

The Small Gatsby

Things have changed since Scott and Zelda fox trotted to a hot jazz combo and dined beneath indoor palms with Wallis and Windsor. Ralph Lauren photo sets they may be, but surely this is preferable to your last American vacation playground.

There is more skin in Florida than anywhere in the world. Most of it sags out of unashamed bikinis and can be up to 72% larger than the person wearing it. I’m not talking about the Spring break crowds who booze and bare it all to Jimmy Buffett; I’m talking about the octogenarians. Too scared to leave their valuables in the hotel room, they sit around the pool all day in diamonds and white mink stoles. All with skin like a Wells Fargo rider’s saddlebags.

My dear, you may dream of the strings and vertiginous cleavages of St. Tropez, but while at your Chatham clam bake, just think back a few years to the entrance the Bouvier sisters would make as they turned up in peddle pushers, flats, pearls and pink cashmere twin sets.

I really can’t imagine Zelda and Wallis topping up their tans in thongs while the boys played shuffleboard in white flannels. But this is, after all, Massachusetts where the Pilgrim Fathers landed, shot a few Indians and turkeys and put in place a sense of self-righteous prudishness that has lasted 500 years. But that’s America.

Martin said,

July 21, 2008 @ 1:28 pm

Massachussets – yes. But weren’t the Pilgrim Fathers headed for the British Colony in Virginia?? Still, I suppose that being nonconformists may explain the current-day attire :-)

Sharyn G said,

July 21, 2008 @ 4:49 pm

Thank God there is still a beach somewhere where the bathers cover up all that excess skin. Try the more demoicratic beaches in NJ, Delaware, Carolinas & VA where you will see sights that should never reach the light of day! Brrrr

Caroline said,

July 21, 2008 @ 7:45 pm

I remember a lady from Geneva telling me that she planned to spend more time in New York because she was made to feel more like a woman there – perhaps girl’s shopping trips to the Big Apple is the answer! Anyway, I hope I am still considered to be “one of the girls” and look forward to seeing you when you come home x

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