Kirsty’s Toad in the Hole

Posted by Jules Ritter on April 29th, 2008

Last weekend’s edition of the Sunday Times calls Kirsty Bertarelli, our lass from Staffordshire, Britain’s wealthiest woman since marrying Swiss billionaire Ernesto Bertarelli the famous Alinghi captain. 

Kirsty’s mother, one Mrs. Roper, was interviewed by the Sunday Times about her daughter’s rise to fame and fortune.  She tells us that Kirsty is just a simple girl bringing up her three children in their house on the shores of lake Geneva and regularly pops home to see her mum.  The only downside it would appear are the tussles Kirsty has with Ernesto’s chef and so Kirsty and the chef have separate kitchens.

I happen to know the Bertarelli house very well as I met the former owner in a supermarket and we struck up a friendship.  We both reached out for the same bunch of flowers and realised we were both British, both blonde and both with toddlers in tow.  The house is stunning with all the accoutrements of a wealthy lifestyle and as our friendship bloomed I was a regular visitor playing tennis or teaching my children to swim in the pool.  So I know exactly where Kirsty does her cooking which got me thinking about the marriage of this lovely down to earth northerner and her famous husband. 

Picture the scene.  Ernesto, after a hard day’s work of sailing/playing golf/tennis returns home ravenous eager for the Italian food his mama used to make him.

“Kirsty Ciara, I must do the eating, I am-a-starving.”

“It’s on the table my love.”

“Ciara Bella Que?”  Ernesto investigates the contents of his plate.

“It’s Toad in the Hole”.

Ernesto throws his arms out, palms up, shoulders up by his ears in typical Latin stance ” I am Swiss, my parents Italian…Only the French eat-a-frogs!”

“It’s STAFFORDSHIRE SAUSAGE AND YORKSHIRE PUDDING guaranteed to put hairs on your chest Ernesto so eat.”

“Stafford-a-shire? York-a-shire?  You try to kill me?  In Alba we ‘ave the truffles in Parma we ‘ave the besta ‘am in the world and you ….

Ernesto wisely does not finish his sentence and instead looks longingly out the window to the guest lodge where his chef resides and where creamy risottos and al dente pastas await him.  With a concealed sigh he dutifully eats the meal his English wife has so lovingly prepared for him.

I think Ernesto is very lucky to have Kirsty but if he starts to get a bit porky in the coming years be sympathetic as the poor man is having to eat two dinners every night.

Copyright Jules Ritter April 2008

Living in Switzerland, Most Popular Posts 11 Comments

Marie said,

April 29, 2008 @ 9:40 pm

Now why is it called Toad in a Hole? Where can we buy Shropshire sausage? Probably in Shropshire? Daaaah! Would a local sausage substitute?
Jules, can you give us some recipes? I’m always looking for new ideas to serve the family! Was that a photo of your own Toad in a Hole or did you have to surf to find it? I think Kirsty probably eats what Madonna eats. Are they really moving to Gstaad?

Graham said,

April 30, 2008 @ 7:05 am

Dear Jules.

You’ve got it back to front.

Ernesto loves a Toad in the Hole. As it is obviously an Italian dish carried by the Roman army as a snack along the straight roads of England. How else would the divine marriage of Shropshire banger and Yorkshire pud have happened? Two hundred miles from Telford to Tadcaster is a ten day route march for even the toughest centurion and would never be attempted by a lazy, be-woaded Brit. Ernesto’s forefathers probably had a bit of “toad” slipped down the tunic just in case.

I do not believe for a second that Kirsty eats toad in the hole.
In fact, I don’t believe she eats anything. I believe that she is a cardboard cut-out stuck in a gormless pose and propped up whenever Ernesto has a photo opportunity. Great tits though.

Note to Marie. If you must, you can follow the recipe here: http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-make-toad-in-the-hole

Marie said,

April 30, 2008 @ 10:47 am

Dear Graham,
Thank you so much for the videojug website! It’s very informative and entertaining! I hope that when I attempt making Toad in the Hole I won’t end up with Frog in the Bog! That was in the clip!
Signing off to go watch more recipes!

Jules Ritter said,

April 30, 2008 @ 6:40 pm

Marie, of course that is not my Toad in the Hole, mine would never look so good. If you get Philip to eat TITH I will eat my….hat.

Welcome back Graham, good to see you are on form, we have missed you, I think.

Caroline said,

May 1, 2008 @ 1:49 pm

Hi Julie, I’m honoured to have had a discreet mention on your site – those were the days! Anyway, this goes to prove that you can take the girl out of Shropshire but you can’t take Shropshire out of the girl! (actually I was under the impression it was Lancashire?) love C x

Jules Ritter said,

May 1, 2008 @ 2:56 pm

Hi Caroline and welcome to the site, first comment I think? Stone in Shropshire. Yes they were lovely days, we never did have a party in that French Café with cobbled street and pissoir in the basement did we? I bet party loving Kirsty has with a French Tart theme no doubt. Would have been fun.

Jules Ritter said,

May 2, 2008 @ 9:00 am

Graham quite rightly points out that Kirsty hails from Stone in Staffordshire not Shropshire so we both got it wrong Caroline. Thank you Graham for keeping us on the straight and narrow! They make a good sausage in Staffordshire I am assured.

Jules Ritter said,

May 2, 2008 @ 9:39 am

i’ve just looked up Staffordshire on the map and now not sure I can call her a northern lass. Anyone any idea where the North/South divide begins in the UK?

Martin said,

May 2, 2008 @ 12:29 pm

North of Watford perhaps? That said, Staffordshire would technically be in “The Potteries” and so that would make it The Midlands.

Clara said,

May 10, 2008 @ 9:16 am

I was in Kirsty’s class at school (Stone, North Staffordshire, Midlands …..) & I now live in Italy; I cook Toad in the Hole (which we were not taught to make) quite often for my family here & am proud to say that although they don’t understand it, they all adore it :-)

Jules Ritter said,

May 10, 2008 @ 10:17 am

Hello Clara. Welcome to the site and thank you for leaving a comment. So do spill the beans was she glamorous back in those days? Did you take cookery classes together?

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