Should I be La Petite Suisse?

Posted by Jules Ritter on March 13th, 2008

So here I am a captive audience, just me, my laptop, the bed and a snoring dog.  But I DID get out of bed for Duncan.  I didn’t mind.   I love Duncs.  He is our English gentleman neighbour who thinks we are all his minions here to serve him.  Anyway, he turns up in his tweed jacket, striped shirt, sage green cords and a – get this – leather-clad starbucks coffee thermos mug(!) asking to borrow my Mini as his Maseratti’s battery is flat….how the mighty fall.

Of course I lent it to him because I always feel inclined to lie down like Molly our soppy Golden Retriever and let him pat my tummy – thus is the power of the Duncan effect.  He was probably some great Roman leader in a past life now winning battles as a big shot CEO of an international law firm.

Funny thing is my Mini battery was also flat as Mr. Jules had left the lights on – it was him honestly -  so Duncs and I had a nice coffee and chat, once I had called him a taxi, him looking like a Simpson’s of the Strand male model and me in my Ikea dressing gown and Uggs.

With all this time on my hands I have been researching other blogs and came across La Petite Anglaise.  It is a well-written, funny slice of Parisian life by an English girl see www.petiteanglaise.com. The other one which I have talked about on this site before, is the French Mistress blog at www.helenafrithpowell.com.  Both writers are way further down the food chain than I am with publishing contracts and television appearances under their belts.  So I get to thinking should I be La Petite Suisse (esse)?  The Swiss Cow? Little Heidi?  

Perhaps I am sicker than I think, delirious even.

Copyright Jules Ritter March 2008

PS It turns out Mini working perfectly Duncs forgot to engage clutch…(Mr. Jules insisted I add this).

Living in Switzerland, Most Popular Posts 20 Comments

Antoine said,

March 14, 2008 @ 7:48 am

Shouldn’t that be “they’re further _up_ the food chain?” I suppose it depends on perspective … :-)

Antoine

jules said,

March 14, 2008 @ 9:30 am

Antoine, You are quite right. I was going to change it to “along the food chain”. But I quite like the Freudian slip aspect of the line…..
Whilst I have you as easy bait and I take it from the name that you are Swiss – Bonjour et bienvenue à bords – what do you think? Should I be La Petite Suisse or the Swiss Cow or something more fragrant?
J’attends votre réponse avec impatience! Jules

Nadia said,

March 14, 2008 @ 9:56 am

If you were a Petit Suisse you’d be a cheese…

Do hope you’ll be better soon, there’s a couple of miserable viruses doing the rounds and we’re all dropping like flies (swatted ones, it’s rather sudden). Will Duncan drop too, do you think, or are you over the pass-the-bug stage?

I also picked up (haha) on the “down” the food chain, but put it down (hahaha) to my pedantic side – I rather like the idea that’s it a Freudian slip… Definitely puts life in perspective!

So, please get well soon, Jules, although your articles while you’re under the weather are just as fun as when you’re not delirious…

Oh, and The Heidi is a good one, non? Moo.

Graham said,

March 14, 2008 @ 10:23 am

If Duncs looked like a model for Simpsons-in-the-Strand he would have been wearing a chef’s outfit and carrying a carving knife, not a coffee mug.

My dear, Simpsons-in-the Strand is a rather grand restaurant. Simpsons of Piccadilly is where you buy all the Daks schmutter.

One awfully hot July evening I turned up at the Strand Simpsons to meet my wife and friends. It must have been 35°. I was stopped at the door by the extremely polite Maitre d’ David Seccombe and told that I would need a tie. Within seconds a Simpsons tie with discrete logo was offered. I did remark that the rule was a bit severe in view of the heat. But David would have none of it. “It’s out of respect for the building Mr. Harris”. I said “but you’ve just let my wife in and she’s not wearing knickers. What about respect for the soft furnishings?”

When we left David apologized unnecessarily and gave us an excellent goody bag of signed menus, silver wine goblets, the Simpson video on how to carve roasts and, the tie.

Antoine said,

March 14, 2008 @ 10:23 am

I was not aware of the cheese reference with Petite Suisse – I like that name though, although since Petite Anglaise has become rather famous (seen the Sunday Times of London recently?), it’s not too original.

Little Heidi may a good choice but only if you’re going to start doing your hair up in pigtails in future :-)

I do have a few ideas since you ask (you’ll have to tell me how fragrant they are)

How about:
* The Swiss Knight (According to ancestry.com, Ritter is a German family name meaning “Knight”)
* The Knight of Jupiter (corny perhaps)
* Chools (or maybe Chules?) If I write your name phonetically – “jools” but replace the “j” with a “Ch” sound it still sounds similar. And “ch” is the internet abbreviation for Switzerland :-)

I’ll see if I can come up with something more fragrant though .. I am toying with “Joule” (which is a unit of energy similar to a calorie), and trying to fit something Swiss into all this.

Maybe I have too much free time …

Antoine

PS: No, not Swiss – try again!

jules said,

March 14, 2008 @ 10:37 am

Hoorah the witch is dead! Someone answers me. Nadia, Duncs is my neighbour and not likely to get bug as no snogging involved. Heidi…I like it….Heidi’s adventures in Switzerland? Or is that too porn star, Graham will tell us. You are right Gray, spot on with the Dak’s outfit but Simpson’s of the Strand is where they all hang out so same thing.
Antoine, all way too sophisticated you’ll have to dumb it down for my readership – you must be French!
Jules

Martin said,

March 14, 2008 @ 11:38 am

Not too sure about “Little Heidi” -especially if you haven’t seen the “Swiss Ethnic” T-shirt that says “Kill Heidi” where the second “i” is a fondue fork!
“La petite désalpe” perhaps -as per a previous blog section?

jules said,

March 14, 2008 @ 12:28 pm

Kill Heidi? No! Thanks for the suggestion but désalpe doesn’t quite roll off the tongue – at least not mine. I think Antoine is right ditch La petite as well, as that has been done so all round not a winner Martin, back to the drawing board for you then, off you go.

Nadia said,

March 14, 2008 @ 1:37 pm

Okay, Antoine, you can’t be Swiss OR French if you don’t know what a Petit Suisse is – that little round cream cheese wrapped in paper?

How about “The Moo Factor”?

Antoine said,

March 14, 2008 @ 5:26 pm

How intriguing – everyone’s trying to guess my nationality! No, French and Swiss it is not; you seem to be misled by my first name unfortunately :-) There is a French connection though – so keep hunting …

More ideas:
Swiss-ed Alive
Alive and Swissing.
The one with the Swiss
My life with a Swiss (Read this out aloud and it sounds as if you’re saying “My life with a Twist”)

Antoine

jules said,

March 14, 2008 @ 5:29 pm

Here’s what Gray wrote in an email.

Please don’t use Heidi. It is a story of paedophilia and should be banned. A dirty old man who tucked Heidi and Peter up in straw and watched them while playing with a goat. He wasn’t even her real grand father, he was her aunt’s grand father.

As a title for your blog anthology, how about “Swiss Family Jules”, as family jewels are often an inspiration to your text.
Also, you, I and most blog correspondents seem to have a spelling blind-spot. So how about “Switzerland for Begginers” or “Les Suissidaires”, “Having a Wonderful Time, Where am I?” or Monty Python’s “Blessed are the Cheese makers”.

Jules Ritter said,

March 14, 2008 @ 5:45 pm

Mr. Jules got it! You are French Canadian Antoine! Love the Alive and Swissing you are a good oeuf!

Antoine said,

March 14, 2008 @ 6:30 pm

Mr Jules attempt is on the wrong side of the Atlantic! Good choice though … Clue for you problem solvers:
1 – I live in a Francophone country (but haven’t been here long)
2 – I was born in a country that certainly is not Francophone.
3 – I grew up (and my parents are from) a country that used to be under French rule once upon a time.

My nationality stems from 2 above but my ancestry (and the origin of my name) is from point 3. The eagle-eyed history lovers have enough clues in those three to narrow the options down …

Antoine

Jules Ritter said,

March 14, 2008 @ 7:09 pm

The following is again from Graham who is being coy: Antoine is Chinese.
With a population of 1,321,851,888 at last count, the odds are pretty high that someone is called Antoine. I have a brother called Ying Song and there are only five in our family.

Antoine said,

March 14, 2008 @ 7:23 pm

Reasonable and statistically probably but not the case :-) . All three countries mentioned in my previous comment are European …

Antoine

Nadia said,

March 15, 2008 @ 10:30 pm

Sweden?

Antoine said,

March 16, 2008 @ 12:55 pm

:-)

Not Swedish, no …

A

Nadia said,

March 18, 2008 @ 9:16 am

I’ve decided that if Antoine won’t say where he’s from we should henceforth call him Antwone. What do you think, Jules?

Antoine said,

March 19, 2008 @ 7:28 am

You can call me anything you like Nadia, “a rose by any other name” and all that.

Having said that, there’s no reason to conceal my origins, so here goes:
- I currently live in Belgium
- I grew up in Malta (my parents are both Maltese)
- I was born in England and have British citizenship.

So there you go …

A

Nadia said,

March 20, 2008 @ 12:57 pm

Dear Rose,

If you live in Belgium, I’m sure if you go into any supermarket you’ll find some Petits Suisses… worth tasting with a sprinkling of sugar on top, but don’t forget to remove the paper wrapping (which is inside the plastic container).

Many many thanks for elucidating the mystery of your origins, I was about to suggest you might be Polish or Kazhakstani… Malta is much is more exotic!! =D

Regards,
Nadia

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